And now the movie!

I suppose it had to happen. Now that sales of Beyond Beowulf are approaching 1000 copies, Hollywood has jumped on the bandwagon. Opening in a theater near you on November 15 will be what they say is an unparalleled “immersive” experience: Beowulf in 3-D and featuring Anthony Hopkins and Angelina Jolie.

3-D? I thought that went out with The Murders at the Rue Morgue. No, they’ve “improved” it to something called “Real-D.” You still wear special glasses but they claim it’s better than before with new computer technology. Not only that, they “improved” Hopkins and Jolie also by computerizing their images.

And that’s just for starters. What the advertisers will focus on, no doubt, is the computerized nude figure of Angelina Folie. Remember the nude scenes in Beowulf? No? Then you probably read the original version. Hollywood has improved that also. Jolie gets to seduce both Beowulf and Hrothgar. Well, no wonder Beyond Beowulf hasn’t sold better. I left all that out.

What got my attention as I surfed the bloggosphere, however, was the suggestion that Hollywood will now be locking up anything and everything possibly related to Beowulf with trademarks and that we should prepare ourselves to be bombarded with ™ hype and merchandise.

But wait until the Hollywood lawyers discover that the sequel has already been written and copy righted and that they will have to negotiate with my high-priced legal counsel to get film rights. Now, how can we get the Abbess Hilda to seduce Wiglaf? Stay tuned.

P.S. Check out The Episcopal Majority for another essay of mine posted November 6 (and two previous posts).